Solo Trippin’

As I recounted the details of a trip to South Africa to a dear friend, I mentioned that I flew domestically from Cape Town to Johannesburg. “But you like that, you don’t mind traveling alone.”

I may not mind it, but it is not my preference. It is my sense of adventure, my penchant for travel, and my inherent need to suck the life out of life that compels me to say yes to opportunities. Imagine me waiting to go until another person agreed to accompany me on the big things and the small things my heart longs to experience. Great travel companions are a Godsend; their company enhances the trip. But there is also something both exhilarating and freeing about solo exploration.

Driving the 101 Freeway along the California Coast is one of my favorite pastimes to refresh and ground my soul. At the end of 2023, I attended a book signing in the Santa Ynez Valley. I gathered with a group of lovely ladies, sipped wine and nibbled on pizza while listening to the incomparable Iris Rideau share bits of her life story. I met new friends that afternoon, wandered around the winery, and snapped photos of things that surprised and delighted. The art of leaning into experiences that bring me joy fills my arsenal with memories that sustain me on challenging days. On road trips with my parents, they intentionally pulled off to get gas when the tank registered half full. They dared not run the risk of riding around on empty, searching for a gas station in the middle of nowhere. Fill up on joy as often and whenever we can. Stay fueled.

Book signing Rideau Winery

I chose to spend the remaining days of my getaway at the quaintest Airbnb in Paso Robles. My host thought of everything from fresh flowers to a blue tooth speaker. Prior to my arrival the owner asked me to select my beverage of choice for my visit- red wine. Walking into the space greeted by fresh flowers, plentiful snacks, cozy blankets, and a bed that felt like a hug, I allowed myself to retreat. The private patio welcomed me with a firepit and a water feature. Fall leaves, birdsongs, and the crisp air kept me company.

Usually, I explore the city. But not this time. I lingered, lounged, and lazed around. This was exactly what I needed. Not gonna lie, at times I do get a bit lonely on my adventures. Over the years, I have learned that sitting in the hot sting of loneliness is the journey. It sets my creativity on fire. It pushes me to explore, to rest, to browse, to move along in ways that being in someone else’s presence in some ways does not. Setting the pace of my trips allows me to soak in as much or as little as I desire. I can confidently say that I enjoy my company. I know what I like and what I do not, and I am open to learning more. Grateful for the times someone accompanies me and appreciative of the moments I get with myself.

Every so often, I receive a proverbial invitation from life that reads “Jodi, party of one your table is ready”. My voracious appetite for new vistas bids me to accept. And most often I do. Oh, the stories I could tell.

Madonna Inn, San Luis Obispo

In the arena

I completed a thing. Have you ever started an endeavor, but did not know the how, the why, or the when? I followed a curiosity simple as that. During the process, I became intimidated and fearful wondering if I was out of my league or trying for something beyond my grasp. Amid these feelings, I kept showing up and pressing through. Yes, I completed a thing. I am literally sitting in a level of soul satisfaction that only comes from pushing beyond self-imposed limits. There is something beautifully humbling and simultaneously earth shakingly powerful about counting yourself in.

Years ago, I read “The Man in the Arena” by Theodore Roosevelt. I posted it below from the website www.goodreads.com. Whether you are a man or woman, the speech celebrates the power of showing up and daring to achieve a thing. I think about the times we sabotage ourselves or others for that matter. Fear and past failures attempt to suffocate all hope of a victorious future. We become afraid to step into the unknown as we wait an umpteen number of years for just the right moment to leap. While there is something to be said for timing, we may realize that time is truly the greatest commodity, and there is truly no time like the present to take advantage of an opportunity.

I completed a thing, which is how this whole thing started. I did a thing. I tried for something. I showed up. The outcome is no longer in my hands. I did my part. Recently, I asked God why certain doors closed. What landed on my heart got my attention. A gentle reminder that this year, I tried more things. I expanded and stretched in ways that in the previous decade I had not. Instantly, my feelings about my personal progress changed.

For the last few months, I repeated to most anyone who listened that 2023 is a hard year. But just maybe, my perception is a bit skewed. Maybe this year I spent time on the potter’s wheel getting molded and shaped into the woman that both me and God know I am becoming. What felt like pressure was actually conditioning. Have you ever sat at a potter’s wheel? I have and the experience was different than I thought. It takes incredible skill, finesse, and patience to craft a piece, however the process allows lots of space for correction and do overs. I am grateful for that. In the next season, I will continue to show up for myself, to try for things, and to follow my passions. Some doors will bust wide open, others may close shut, but one thing is for sure, I will continue to pursue.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

www.goodreads.com

Release

There are things going on in the world. There are things going on in our personal lives. There are things that are heavy and bulky, that often feel way too large for our overextended arms to carry. We may have learned to manage and maneuver the sharp edges of life because, isn’t that what we are supposed to do? I remember years ago a popular commercial’s marketing slogan was “Never let them see you sweat”. But we are sweating and tired and stressed. Reprieve, relief, and restoration sometimes allude us, yet they remain our heart’s cry. Remain. Even in the midst of it all, this indicates that there is hope.

The holidays are upon us. I am not sure where the time has gone. Gratitude and merriment are arriving shortly. Isn’t that what we are supposed to feel during the joyous season of all? I am first to admit that not all of us do. The last few months of the year may be a challenging time for many. I learned this firsthand, and I just want to acknowledge this fact. For me, the supposed to, expectations, and predictability took a back seat over the last few years when I began a grief journey that still leaves me reeling and catching my breath at times. Over the next several weeks I will share some of my personal hills and valleys with you. When I started my blog, I never imagined writing posts like this. But here we are together.

I took a walk today and felt simply overtaken by the way the shadows and shade cut through the light. And yet, the light remained. Scattered leaves of varying color strewn across the grass reminded me of the word release. We often associate that word with letting go of something unwanted, but that is not always the case. We can surrender to the blessings during heartache. We can unleash our joy amid sorrow. We can express our vulnerability even through the pain. I have a thing for falling leaves. They symbolize so many things. On one hand the autumn foliage is letting go and on the other, they are making room.

I look forward to sharing more my heart with you. Stay tuned.

May your Thanksgiving be what your soul needs.

Finding joy in hard seasons

I just left the doctor’s office.

Nothing big is going on, but you know how these things go. Listening to the person practicing medicine diagnose, prescribe, and move on to the next patient waiting in the room next to you. This post is not against doctors or science or medicine. I am grateful to those who dedicate their lives to our wellbeing. This post is a form of therapy, my very own space to share my heart with a trusted community of readers.

Driving away from the office, my entire mood changed and not for the better. I set a goal after this appointment to work on my blog at a coffeehouse until it was time for my yin yoga class. Now, I just wanted to find refuge in my home away from people, the busyness, the cares of this life. My afternoon plans no longer seemed appealing. Challenges, hard news, and difficult choices have a way of sucking the life out of us. Sitting in the car, I considered driving home, walking the dog, and tucking away into bed early. Daylight savings time would surely aid me with winding down quickly.

Motivation and desire escaped me. I propped open the door and let them slowly creep out. You know those romance movies where the love interest is making their way to a plane or a train and in a moment of sheer desperation the girl or the guy goes running to pledge their love to woo their person back? Well, that is how I was feeling when I sensed that motivation and desire were heading towards the door. I know what it takes to woo them back after they are gone and it ain’t always pretty. In no mood to experience the depth of apathy, numbness, and depression that accompanies their departure, I started the car and drove to the cafe to work on my blog. Staring at the blank computer screen, I muttered a short prayer under my breath “Lord, what do I write?”.

Chai oat milk latte, Abode Cafe

Here are 3 ways I find joy when I don’t feel like it:

1. Acknowledge my feeling whatever it might be in the moment. Understand that feelings are fluid and subject to change. I learned this in Jamaica from a wise rafting guide.

2. Start, just start driving, getting in the shower, walking to the kitchen to start the dishes. Action even when I may not feel like it builds momentum.

3. Mindfully choose one thing for which to be grateful. Gratitude is medicine for the soul. I believe this wholeheartedly.

My yoga instructor texted me as soon as I started this blog. I told her I will be seeing her in class tonight.

What are some of your practices to find joy when it is difficult?

Relax.Renew.Remember.

For two months I viewed and reviewed a post from Black Vines http://www.blackvines.net advertising their Summer Vines Napa Edition. This event hosted on September 2, 2023, was designed to be an afternoon of rose wine, sangria, and bubbles, black winemakers, and artists. Quite literally I researched various options from flying to driving, to staying only one night to making it a weekend getaway. I shared the information with family and friends secretly hoping that someone would accompany me up north. I even contacted a few of the Fellowship Winners I met during the Wine Writer’s Symposium earlier this year. No one jumped at the chance. If I can be completely honest, I am not sure why I felt the need to recruit a co-pilot for this trip as I have flown internationally multiple times all by myself. Just wanted company, I guess. Up to the night before the event, I did not give up my quest to attend this end of summer bash. But I did resign to the fact that if it was not meant to be, I could totally accept that. I would stay local all weekend and have a good time no matter what.

While at a concert the night before this event, I logged into Instagram, and I am not even really sure why. A post from Black Vines announcing a contest to win a pair of tickets to the Napa event. I followed the directions to enter. I feel like that act was a last wish maybe more like a prayer to be a part of the festivities. I put my phone away and resumed swaying to the soulful music. My entire crew danced the night away! Talk about joy! On our way home, I checked my IG one more time. There in the upper right corner was a notification that I received a DM. Low and behold, a message from Black Vines letting me know that I won. I am the winner. Wait what?! You mean after months of desiring to be in Napa sipping bubbly, the opportunity is handed to me on a proverbial silver platter and for free no less!

I turned to my road doll of 26 years and exclaimed in sheer excitement and incredulity, “Girl, I just won”! It is approximately 11:00 pm on Friday night when I receive the news. My friend asks “So, we are going to Napa tomorrow”? I respond with a shaky “Should we? I say yes, let’s roll”! A few short hours later, we hit the road with blankets, pillows, an ice chest only filled with cool packs and a package of cheddar cheese, and no hotel reservations. We watched the sunrise as we drove 7.5 hours to our destination. Changing our clothes in a Starbucks restroom and finishing our primping a few minutes from the event space in a gas station washroom, we arrived fresh with excitement. Shout out to my friend Michelle for being so willing to spontaneously jump on the road with absolutely no plan.

McClelland House, Napa

Good vibes, good wine, good music, good food, and great people paired with a beautiful location left us relaxed and soul-level content. I marveled at the graciousness of God, not only did He answer the desire of my heart, but I received a double blessing. The wine tasting was held at the McClelland House http://www.themcclellandhouse.com, a black owned bed and breakfast in Napa. Ever since I heard of this place, I put it on my bucket list. Now here I am enjoying the porch and the garden while striking up satisfying conversation with a group of attendees. We chatted about everything from where we are from to prayer to our favorite wines. Turns out we were talking to a family, two generations of women who exuded love, togetherness, and joy. Would you believe that end of the afternoon, one of the ladies, the auntie came over to us full of grandmotherly wisdom and asked if she could pray. She put her arms around us and beseeched heaven for our journey, for the perfect hotel, safe travels, and God’s favor. Reminded me of my mom, that felt good. We hugged and thanked her for her kindness as we walked towards the car.

Sure enough, just a short way down the freeway, we found a hotel. It was clean and comfortable, and we slept soundly. The next day we followed our promptings and made our way through Carmel and Big Sur before heading home. Enthralled by the gorgeous California coastline, we wound our way through the curves and cliffs. Off to the right we spot the Big Sur River Inn which seemed like an ideal spot to grab a bite to eat. A cool rhythmic beat greeted us as we made our way down the stairs. Yet another delightful surprise, who knew that there would be a R&B band playing on the patio? We shimmied our shoulders to the music while taking in the beauty of Big Sur. Suddenly a memory came flooding back to me. My sister and I floated down this river on an inner tube about 40 years ago. What a full circle moment! Before leaving the area, we made our way down to the river to take a closer look. A group of ladies stood up and asked if we wanted their chairs. One of them offered to take our photo. We excitedly took them up on their offer. After relaxing in Adirondack chairs and dipping our toes is the refreshing water, we made our way back through California farmland towards home.

What an adventure! A 24-hour whirlwind of a road trip that left us speechless, grateful, and

soul-level satisfied.

Jodi

River Springs Inn, Big Sur

A Summer of Rest

I keep getting this one question over and over. For some reason, I cannot remember anyone asking me this since I was a schoolgirl. Maybe I just don’t remember being asked, because I made a practice of living life at super speed, so I could rattle off the answer to this question without hesitation. But things feel slower now although the year is literally flying by; or maybe I am just slower, reflective, pondering what I want to do with myself, my time, my life. What is this burning question I keep getting asked?

What are your plans for the Summer?

Plans? I actually have no plans. And if you know me, then you would agree that is different than my norm. I am always going here or there or doing this or that. When I started writing this blog post I had no idea that just a few short weeks later, a virus would cause me to spend days in bed dozing off and on while watching hours of Hallmark Movies. I did not know when I titled this post “A Summer of Rest” that I prophesied my own future. This rest is welcome. This rest is necessary. When it is time to pull out the suitcase again, when it is time to make some fabulous plan with my trusted friends, when it is time to hit the road on adventure, I will. But until then, I am gratefully content for a season of rest.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Blue Suspenders

June 17, 2023

I showed up ready for the transformation. Wow, that sentence is giving me life. I was referring to the process of changing my hair from its naturally curly state to straight; reading the words “I showed up ready for the transformation” just hit with an unexpected impact. I would say that I digressed, but that is absolutely not the case. I needed to both write and read that sentence.

I scheduled an appointment to get my hair done. I love going to the shop not just for the results, but for the experience. Can we pause again on that sentence please? “…not just for the results, but for the experience”. Isn’t that exactly what the journey is all about? I love going to the shop because I get to spend time talking about things that matter with my hairstylist. Our families go back years. She asks about my family to make sure that everyone from my dad to my son is getting along just fine. She shares stories with me about her parents, her travels, and the exciting things happening in her life. I regale her with stories about my adventures, the people I meet, and all of the ways God shows up and out. We talk about therapy and working through the difficulties of life from grief to tragedy. And I believe that most of us agree that spending time in a salon with the right people can be a form of therapy.

Depending on the time of day, you can meet a whole host of characters sitting under dryers undergoing a process, kicking back in the waiting room looking like a Before picture, or bouncing out the door with a new attitude. This particular time, a gentleman showed up in the shop. My angle towards the mirror caused me to hear his voice before I could see his face. As she slowly ran the flat iron through my strands, I heard her say “How you doin’ Mr. W?”. My stylist used his full last name, but I respect his privacy. This man has no idea the impact he made on me or the fact that I am writing about him. He answered back like a gentleman from a different era. His words were slow, clear, and intentional. They exchanged niceties. Once again, my hairdresser was checking to see how this one and that one was doing. He responded “Oh they are doing just fine”, like a man with southern roots, although I have no idea from where he originates. Just then she slowly turns the chair and I get a full view of Mr. W.

Blue jeans, a freshly pressed button-down blue shirt, and a pair of blue suspenders. He wore a clean pair of tan shoes and sported a phone case on his hip. With a nod of our heads and a smile, we acknowledged each other. I spoke first “Hello sir”. He replied in a way that did not require an auditory response from me; a simple nod of respect for his age, experience, and stature communicated all I needed to say. For those of you who know, you know. As he walked away, my hair magician said “I have been in the hair business for over 40 years, Mr. W has been in it longer. I buy all of my drapes, clips, combs, etc. from him. You see, back in the day salesmen would come into the salons and sell us all of our supplies. Most people purchase their items online, but I still buy my items from Mr. W. He is the last of his kind. People don’t do business like this anymore.” Wow, what a privilege to witness their exchange and to meet Mr. W.

During this appointment, we talked about healthy boundaries and being mindful not only of the energy we bring, but of the energy we allow in our space. Some energy is too expensive if it costs us our peace. I am so thankful for the beautiful souls I crossed paths with during my beauty shop session. I left with a new ‘do and positive feelings because of the people in the room. I came ready for transformation and certain that the entire experience would fill my joy cup as much as my results.

This picture hangs in the salon bathroom

Jodi

Happy Father’s Day

I have two dads.

A 30-year-old conversation revolutionized my perception and thereby my life. When I was about 10 years old, I was playing at a friend’s home. Her father asked me a few questions about what my dad did for a living. I replied with an overly drawn-out story about the woes of growing up in a blended family. He listened attentively nodding his head at times. When I got out all I wanted to say, my friend’s daddy replied enthusiastically “You have got to be the luckiest little girl I have ever met. You were blessed with not one, but two dads who love you tremendously. You must be pretty special!”. Thank you Mr. B for the perspective shift. You gifted me for life.

  1. Photo 1 was taken in the bell tower in Slovenia in 2022. The story on the Travel Page is about seeing Lake Bled with Dad M.
  2. Photo 2 was taken at the Buchart Gardens in Victoria, Canada in 2023. That story will appear in a future post.

I want to wish you a happy Father’s Day. What is celebrated today may make you feel a myriad of things. To those of you whose dads are transitioned from this life, my heart is with you. To those of you who have stepped into father roles to non-biological children, I applaud you. To everyone struggling, I send compassion your way. I cannot end this post without acknowledging God. Thank you for taking care of me; good looking out.

Jodi

Respite for the soul

http://www.morninglavendercafe.com

There is something healing about pretty things and words. The comingling of art and language produces a world of dreamy possibilities. I believe that each can absolutely stand on their own, but the downright deliciousness of the pairing opens portals to our heart. “A picture is worth a thousand words” advertising executive Fred R. Barnard said. The idea is that a solitary photo can convey more meaning than a gathering of words. While I do not disagree, the writer in me leans heavily into expressing myself through the powerful flow of thoughts written down. The adventurer in me swoons over gorgeous photos. I feel no need to choose, or should I say I am selecting to use both. My blog is my unfolding journey, a story that I am sharing as I make my way about the earth. My intention is to share simple joys and extraordinary moments that are birthed through grief and gratitude.

You are welcome in this space!

Jodi